Selling Change With the Simple Power of “Yes, And!”

I have a guest post up on Brett Clay’s Change Leadership Group website.

Brett is the author of Selling Change, which is a great book about how salespeople, to compete in the modern world, need to move beyond offering solutions to being agents of change.

In the post on Brett’s site, I explain how saying “Yes, And!” can help you to do just that.

You can read the post here:

Selling Change With the Simple Power of “Yes, And!”

For more info on Say “Yes, And!” and to learn about the $200 worth of free bonuses you can get if you buy the book on February 28th, visit http://www.SayYesAnd.com

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Early Reviews of “Say ‘Yes, And!’”

As you probably know by now, Say “Yes, And!” is launching this Tuesday, February 28th.

Here are a two “pre-release” reviews you might enjoy:

Get off your ‘buts’ and Say, ‘Yes, And’  – From Eleven Minute Awesome 

Learn to say, “Yes, And!” – From They Don’t Teach You This in School 

And here are excerpts from three Amazon reviews:

“I have used these strategies in my role as team lead at a video game studio, and the results have been impressive to say the least. Our team members feel more respected, feel listened to, feel as if they are contributing to the whole of the product.

I recommend this book wholeheartedly. It is well worth the price, and will really add a new dimension to the way you interact with the world.”

“Whether you are a business owner, corporate executive, sales professional, association executive, or non-profit leader, this book is for YOU. Filled with immediately actionable insights and concrete take-aways, this little book may trigger the biggest and best changes your team, your organization, and your results will ever experience.” 

“Say ‘Yes, And’ is a fast read, too. The 2 hours that I spent reading were well worth it. If you want to change your world and make your life (and the lives around you) better, read this book.”

For more info on Say “Yes, And!” and to learn about the $200 worth of free bonuses you can get if you buy the book on the 28th, visit http://www.SayYesAnd.com

 

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Success Secret: Get Yourself a “Yes, And” Buddy!

One success tip that I have heard, that I have talked about, and that I have elicited in an interview (with Neen James on the Smart Ass Success Audio Series) is the idea of getting a partner, or “buddy.”

There are different types of partners, collaborators, and helpers:

  • An accountability buddy is someone who you check in with periodically to hold yourself accountable; to make sure you are following through and doing what you say you would.
  • coach is someone who also hold you accountable, but also shares advice and wisdom with you
  • creative collaborator is someone you work with on projects.
  • business partner is someone you work with, perhaps in a way that complements your own skill set
  • An outsourcer, contractor, or employee is someone is someone you hire to help you with the tasks you hate and have little skill for so you can spend your time on the things you love.

There are certainly other types or partnerships you can form to help you achieve your goals, and they all have their strengths.

Now, however, I am going to share with you a new type of partner:

The “Yes, And!” Buddy

One of the premises in my book, Say Yes, And! is that every good thing that happens to you comes as a result of saying, “Yes, And!”

As I was reflecting on this idea in my own life, I realized that for many of those “Yes, And!” moments, I didn’t say, “Yes, And!” alone. I had someone right there with me saying “Yes, And!” back.

Here are a few examples:

  • When I decided to audition for my first high school play, I mentioned it to a friend and he said, “Yes, And I will do it too.”
  • When I wanted to put on my own community theater production, while still in high school, I had another friend who said, “Yes, And I want to do it with you.”
  • When I started my improv group, Polywumpus, after college, I had three friends who jumped up and said, “Yes, that’s a great idea, And we want to be a part of it.”

Those are just three small examples that had a big impact on my life, and there are many more. I’m not sharing them here to brag about how awesome I am. In fact, it’s kind of the contrary…

I am saying, that as powerful it was for me to say, “Yes, And!” to those opportunities, I honestly don’t know if I would have followed through on all of them if I didn’t have someone (or multiple people) standing there next to me saying, “Yes, And!” too.

This was a powerful realization. Looking at my current life, I know that I still have “Yes, And!” friends who will support me, and jump in with me if I need. And yet, I don’t always leverage those relationships like I should.

In fact, it seems like I often first seek out people who can point out why my idea is not so great. Yes, I go looking for a “yes, but” reaction.

There’s nothing wrong with talking with people who can bring you down to reality and point out why you may not want to run with your idea. Surrounding yourself with only people who support every cockamamie idea you have can be dangerous.

However, this is an issue of timing. Sometimes – oftentimes, actually – you need unconditional support. You need blind optimism. And most importantly, you need someone who will grab your arm and jump off the cliff with you.

It’s true, sometimes your “Yes, And” may yield less than stellar results, and you may end up wasting some time, energy, and money. But at the end of the day, saying, “Yes, And!” is the only way to achieve anything great. You need people who will support you in that.

So let me ask you three questions:

1) Who are your “Yes, And!” buddies? If you don’t know, you may need to make some more friends.

2) Do you turn to those “Yes, And!” buddies when you’re starting a new idea? Or do you immediately ask for feedback from the “yes, butters?”

3) Whose “Yes, And!” buddy are you? It’s a two way street. Help others out by saying “Yes, And!” to them when they need it.

Find a “Yes, And” buddy. Be a “Yes, And!” buddy. Say a lot more “Yes, And!”

Yes, And it’s just that simple…

***

For more info on Say “Yes, And!” and to learn about the $200 worth of free bonuses you can get if you buy the book on the 28th, visit http://www.SayYesAnd.com

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Using “Yes, And!” to Become Awesome

I have a guest post up at Eleven Minute Awesome.

As you might have guessed from the title of this post, it’s all about how you can use the power of saying, “Yes, And!” to become awesome…

You can read the post here:

Using “Yes, And!” to Become Awesome

For more info on Say “Yes, And!” and to learn about the $200 worth of free bonuses you can get if you buy the book on the 28th, visit http://www.SayYesAnd.com

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What is “Yes, And”?

Say “Yes, And!” is launching next Tuesday, February 28th. Here’s a short fun and video that explains what “Yes, And!” is and why you should care:

NOTE: Buy a copy of Say “Yes, And!” on Tuesday, February 28th and you’ll get access to over $200 in bonuses! For more information, check out the Launch Day Bonuses Page wow!

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Saying “Yes, And,” Building Trust, and Growing a Business

The internet is a weird, cool place. It provides information to resources, information, contacts, and potential buyers, right there at the tips of your fingers. You can get a tremendous accomplished without ever leaving home. Or showering. Or putting your pants on (not that I would know anything about that…).

Of course, the internet is not magic. Too many people use it ineffectively because they don’t understand what it is best used for.

Just because you can send marketing messages and advertisements for free (via email, blog post, tweet, status update, etc.) doesn’t mean you always should. Of course you can mix it up, but too many people just blast nothing but “BUY NOW!” messages.

So, if you are not going to use the internet to blast your prospects with sales messages, what should you use it for?

You can use it for many things:

  • Building relationships with prospects
  • Addressing customer issues and complaints
  • Researching what the trends and challenges of your industry are
  • And more

An interesting perspective on this is the idea of using the internet to first and foremost build trust.

This is the entire premise of the New York Times bestselling book, “Trust Agents” by Chris Brogan and Julien Smith. The book explains why and how you should use the internet to build trust in a way that is authentic and that helps you grow your business.

From the description:

“…once you’ve established your reputation, you can build influence, share it, and reap the benefits of it for your business. When you’ve learned a trust agent’s secrets, your words can carry more power and more weight than any PR firm or big corporate marketing department.”

This is a great book that may change the way you go about your marketing efforts and your use of social media.

I’m not going to go into deep detail here about everything the book covers. I would recommend picking up a copy, reading it, and seeing how you can apply the ideas to your own business.

What I want to talk about here is improv comedy.

Yes. Improv comedy.

You see, I was happily reading “Trust Agents” when to my pleasant surprise I came across a section titled, “How ‘Yes, and…’ Applies to Trust Agents.”

Wow! A book on using the internet to build trust and grow a business that devotes two pages to talking about improv comedy. Awesome.

(If you are new to this blog and not sure why that excites me so, it’s because the idea of applying improv comedy ideas to business and life is what my speaking business is all about. I even wrote two books about it: Improvise to Success! and Say “Yes, And!”)

From the book (emphasis mine)

“The premise, as it applies to doing business on the Web, is this: Be open to possibility. One of our secrets as trust agents in formulating ideas around making our own game, building armies, thinking about leverage, and other forces at play is that we think with a “Yes, and…” mentality. The opposite is to be closed-minded, to look at what could go wrong, to consider the negatives. This one tiny detail makes a world of difference in how you perceive your options on the web. 

To that point, practice saying, “Yes, and…” to everything, if only in your own head.

Powerful stuff, eh? The one detail of saying, “Yes, And” makes a world of difference.

When you say “Yes, And,” or at the very least think in terms of “Yes, And,” you are keeping your mind open to possibilities and opportunities.

This is certainly easier said than done. Most of us have a tendency to think and say, “No,” or “yes, but” as a default response. By simply approaching everything in your life with a “Yes, And” approach, you create and find options for your life and business that you would have otherwise overlooked.

Ask yourself, “Am I a ‘Yes, And’ person or a ‘yes, but’ person?” Be honest. Don’t beat yourself up if you realize that you tend to say and think, “yes, but.” At the same time, now that you know, work on developing a “Yes, And” mindset. It can help both you and your business grow.

Now, let me leave you with a final quote from Trust Agents:

“Understanding improvisational comedy has actually made a difference in our business lives.”

Hey, if it’s good enough for a New York Times bestseller, shouldn’t it be good enough for the rest of us?

***
Smart Ass Success E-BookWant to learn more about the idea of saying “Yes, And!”? Then sign up to receive your free Pre-Release copy of Avish’s new book, Say “Yes, And!” between Feb 20 and Feb 23!

www.SayYesAnd.com

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For Valentine’s Day: Spreading Unconditional Love with “Yes, And!”

How often do you “but” the people you love? Have you though about the message that sends?

When it comes to the people we are closest to in our lives – significant others, children, parents, etc. – we want to love them unconditionally. Unconditional love means “to love someone regardless of one’s actions or beliefs.” It’s the kind of love that says, “I love you no matter what.” It’s pretty awesome.

Saying, “I love you” is a great way to express your love. However, too often we say “I love you” and follow it immediately with the word, “but.”

Unfortunately, “but” is the ultimate conditional word.

When you start a sentence with “I love you, but…” you are sending the message that your love has limits. That it has conditions. That it depends on how the other person behaves.

Yes, you may at times need to express displeasure. You may need to correct behavior. You may need to express anger.

However, doing any of those things by starting with “I love you, but…” does not achieve the goal you think it does. You want the message to be “I want you to know that even though I am getting mad at you, I still love you.”

Though that’s what you want the message to be, and though that’s what your words seem to literally say, that doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the meaning being conveyed.

In learning, the “Law of Recency” says that “the most recent response is most likely to reoccur.” Basically, that means that people remember what happens last. If you lead with “I love you but…,” guess what will be remembered?

Yup. Whatever comes after the “but.” Which is the negative part.

There are three ways to avoid this:

1)      Drop the “I love you” altogether – Not the best solution, I’ll admit. But better to just give your feedback in that moment without tying it to the level of your love. Of course, this strategy only works if you make it a point to tell the person that you love them, later, without qualification.

2)      Move the “I love you” to later – Give your feedback, criticism, whatever, and then say “I love you.” Let that be the last thing they remember.

3)      Switch to “I love you and” – This is the most effective strategy. It’s also the most difficult. When you find yourself starting to say, “I love you, but…” switch to “I love you, and…” It will be difficult, because you can’t just replace “but” with “and” and say the same thing you were going to anyway.  You’ll have to rephrase. So, “I love you but when you leave your dirty clothes on the floor it pisses me off,” becomes “I love you and I’d really appreciate it if you would remember to put your clothes in the hamper.” The “and” primes your mind to go down a more positive path.

Is this just semantics? Could be. But the words we choose are one of the main ways we communicate with each other. Why wouldn’t you want to carefully select them to make sure the people you love know that you love them unconditionally?

For the people you love the most, for the ones who you truly do love unconditionally, stop saying, “I love you but…” Switch to “I love you and…” and let them know how much you love then.

What better gift could you give your loved ones on Valentine’s Day?

***
Smart Ass Success E-BookWant to learn more about the idea of saying “Yes, And!”? Then sign up to receive your free Pre-Release copy of Avish’s new book, Say “Yes, And!” between Feb 20 and Feb 23!

www.SayYesAnd.com

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Saying “Yes, And!” With No Thought

My friend and fellow speaker Scott Ginsberg posted a great article titled, “Let me give that no thought.”

The premise of his article is that his success comes from his willingness to say “yes” to opportunities as a default, automatic response.

From his article:

“We shouldn’t have to talk ourselves into opportunities.
It’s more exciting to just say yes, and then ask what it is.”

Sounds very much like the idea of saying, “Yes, And” instead of “yes, but,” doesn’t it?

Let me ask you: What is your default response to opportunities? Do you say, “Yes, And” or “yes, but”? Do you look for possibilities, or do you need to be talked into things?

(Read the rest of Scott’s article by clicking here)

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Book Review: Selling Change (And the Power of “Yes, And!”)

selling changeMost people who have any sales training or experience understand the concept of selling benefits, not features. However, have you ever considered going beyond both of those and instead focusing on selling change?

I recently read “Selling Change” by Brett Clay. This is a book on (as you might have guessed) sales. However, rather than following some of the traditional sales models, this book elevates selling to a process of helping other people make the changes that they need to improve their lives or businesses.

Full disclosure: I met Brett Clay at a conference last year, and we have been friendly since. He’s a really great guy, and I’ll be honest: if I hated his book, I wouldn’t post a negative review. Fortunately, I don’t have that problem, because I really enjoyed his book and think there is a lot that anyone involved in selling anything can benefit from.

(For more information, you can listen to an audio of Brett interviewing me on the concept of applying improv comedy to business and life)

The Idea

The book’s primary message is that salespeople must look beyond talking about features, espousing benefits, and solving problems, and start helping customers “change.” It is a great way of re-framing the sales process in a way that leads to a consultive selling approach.

There’s quite a bit of information in the book. Brett covers, among other things,:

  • The Change Leadership Framework, which explains what makes people change, how do they decide to change, and how they make those changes
  • How to conduct a Force Field Analysis, where you understand all the forces affecting the customer.
  • The Change Response Analysis, which is all about how the customer responds to the forces acting on them.
  • Six personality types that respond to change differently
  • The Power Analysis, where you figure out the effort involved in change (a critical understanding if you are going to expect someone else to make a change you want)
  • Value Creation, which is the process of demonstrating the value of change to the client or prospect
  • Change Actuation, where you actually put the change in motion.

There’s a lot more in there, and it’s all good stuff.

The Book Itself

The book is extremely well written and laid out. It Is made up of 107 “secrets for growing sales and leading change.”

Each secret is presented in exactly two pages, and is broken into three segments:

  • What I need to know
  • What I need to do
  • Action summary

Two pages is not a lot of room, but somehow Brett manages to pack a lot of info in there. Many of the secrets cover deep topics, reference studies and research, or tell complete real life stories. That’s definitely a strong point: the balance between in-depth information and ease of reading.

Relation to Improv Comedy

What struck me is how many concepts in Brett’s book are similar to my approach of applying improv comedy ideas to business and life LINK.

Yes, this is a shameless plug for my own book too...

Yes, this is a shameless plug for my own book too...

We both address change. The difference is, my work focuses on how you deal with unexpected change quickly and effectively. Brett addresses how you can be a leader of change. Actually, his point is that if you want to succeed in today’s world, you must be a change leader. Then he explains in detail how to do it.

In my presentations, I talk about how change is inevitable, and how, to be successful, you can’t whine about it, you have to learn how to react to and flow with it. Brett takes it even a step further by saying, “opportunity only comes with change.”

Makes sense when you think about it. If you are sitting there doing the same thing day after day, waiting for opportunities to come along, you’re in for a long, struggling life. If you want to move ahead, you need to create change, both for yourself and others.

I believe if you read Brett’s book in light of some of the improv ideas I talk about in my book, blog, and presentations, you will get even more out of it.

Yes And

The greatest similarity between Selling Change and improv comedy comes in the form of improv’s idea of saying, “Yes, And.”

(If you are unfamiliar with the idea of “yes, and,” in improv comedy there is a simple rule: “say ‘yes, and’ instead of ‘yes, but.’” For more information on “yes, and,” as well as 4 other improv principles, check out my blog post, The Step by Step Process to Improvising With Anything)

At its core, “yes, and” is about making change. “Yes, but” is about resisting change. If you want to find the opportunity that only comes with change, you have to be willing to say “yes and.” If you want other people to invest in your services and products, you must move them to change by getting them to adopt a “yes, and” mindset.

In Conclusion

There really is a wealth of knowledge here, and it may seem overwhelming, especially for someone who is looking for a simple, “1-2-3 system” to sales success. Personally, I prefer a lot of information that explains both the “how and “why.” In fact, to be able to implement the “Selling Change” method, I believe you have to have a deep understanding of the ideas along with a willingness to work the process.

But that’s the point; transactional selling is being taken over by websites. To be able to offer real value to a client, we must help them change, and in order to do that we need a deep understanding of both the client and the change process. “Selling Change” gives plenty of information on how understand both of those things, and then gives action steps for what do with that knowledge.

If you are looking for a smart, in depth, and effective book on sales (or, frankly, a good book that analyzes what makes people change and how you can leverage that information), then I heartily recommend you pick up, “Selling Change.” You won’t be disappointed.

Buy it on Amazon:

Selling Change by Brett Clay

(Disclaimer: yes, that’s my Amazon affiliate link, so if you buy it from there I make something like $1.32…)

***
Improvise to Success!Learn the 16 simple but powerful principles that will lead to personal and professional success! In this 200 page book, Avish explains how the ideas from improv comedy can make your life easier and more successful. Check it out Improvise to Success! now!
 

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7 Simple Ways to Improvise Around Obstacles and Setbacks!

This past Tuesday, November 29th, was the fifth session in the Smart Ass Success Teleseminar Series. I was the one being interviewed on this call, and I spoke on the topic of improvising and flowing around obstacles on your path to success.

Below I have posted a six minute clip from the interview, as well as 7 simple ideas you can use to help you improvise and flow when setbacks and surprises throw you off track.  (There were many more…).

If you’d like to get the full audio of the call, plus a bevy of bonuses and access to 6 more calls with awesome experts (along with the call recordings and transcriptions), you can still sign up. Just visit the Smart Ass Success Teleseminar page and sign up now! Regardless of when you sign up, you’ll get the recordings of all past and future calls.

Here’s the sample:

Week-5-Avish-Parashar-Improvisation-Sample

Here are seven simple but powerful ideas you can use to be flow and improvise:

  1. Anyone can do well when everything goes as planned. What separates experts and truly successful people from those who are just lucky or who struggle is how well they deal with the unexpected setbacks along the way.
  1. The first step in improvising with the unexpected is to not reflexively do or say something stupid that makes the problem worse.  Use the PBT technique to avoid making this mistake.
  1. Having fun and being willing to fail are the two critical success mentalities when it comes to improvising (or, frankly, any endeavor). If you are not having fun and are afraid of failing, you will not perform well.
  1. Focus on what you can do right here, right now, with what you have. Let go of the rest.
  1. Stop viewing the world in binary, “either/or” fashion. When Ding Happens, start looking for the third, fourth, and fifth options to achieve your goals.
  1. Saying “Yes, And” is the key to improvising without whining, building strong relationships, and taking small actions that will help you overcome the obstacles in your path.
  1. Just because you can improvise doesn’t mean you shouldn’t prepare. Work in advance to prevent as many foreseeable obstacles as you can. Then be ready to improvise, because something unexpected will pop up!

Thanks for reading (and listening)!

Remember, there’s still time to sign up for the Smart Ass Success Teleseminar and get all the recordings, transcriptions, and bonuses! But hurry, because once the Series ends, the offer will be gone!

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